An excerpt from the summary of this report states that:
The low-income students showed some areas of relative vulnerability, but when large group differences were found, it was the affluent youth who were at a disadvantage, with substantially higher substance use and peer envy. Affluent girls seemed particularly vulnerable, with pronounced elevations in perfectionistic tendencies, peer envy, as well as body dissatisfaction. Examination of risk and protective processes showed that relationships with mothers were associated with students’ distress as well as positive adjustment. Additionally, findings showed links between (a) envy of peers and multiple outcomes (among high SES girls in particular), (b) dimensions of perfectionism in relation to internalizing symptoms, and (c) high extrinsic versus intrinsic values in relation to externalizing symptoms.
And its conclusion is that:
Our findings show that family wealth does not
indicate parallel advantages in personal or family functioning; the largest
group differences we found were on substance use and dimensions of envy, and on
each of these, the affluent sample (particularly girls) fared more poorly.
Together, our results point to the need for continued research on the
confluence of familial, community, and individual-level factors that are potent
“risk-modifiers” within the context of high pressures to achieve. In schools
that are predominated by high achievers, educators and parents alike must
remain cognizant that strivings for perfectionism can become unhealthy, indeed
inimical, to the overall well-being of today's youth.
The parent's email ended with: "I would love to hear your thoughts on this!"
My thoughts on this report, as I responded to this parent, are that, like the researchers, I am not terribly surprised to see a correlation between high affluence and achievement and self-harm and other symptoms of distress. It is the dark side of a culture that expects/demands excellence and accomplishment from children. In my mind, this phenomenon has been sharpened by the dawning realization that the rising generation may well be the first in our country's history to have lower levels of material wealth than their parents. This fear of a coming scarcity is what causes some parents to do everything possible to try to ensure that their children will remain upwardly mobile. The manifestations of this anxiety (expecting/accepting only A's, intolerance for the "bumps in the road" that we all know are an inevitable and valuable part of the coming of age process, etc.) can certainly be damaging for the children on the receiving end of it.
I will say that one of the things I love about Friends is that our students routinely report that there is a feeling of support and mutual uplift among their peers that runs contrary to the stereotypical high-pressure, win-at-all-costs environment in many other academically strong independent and public schools. Being a Quaker school unquestionably takes a considerable amount of the edge off the societal/parental pressure on children from high-achieving families to replicate or surpass the material success of the previous generation. The young women's 'perfectionism' described in this report is often a function of the belief - unwittingly instilled by parents - that any lack of perfection will prevent students from access to the 'right college,' the 'right profession,' and other aspects of the golden ring they perceive their children to be in competition for. The nature of our community also tends to broaden families' conceptions far beyond what - in my mind - is an unhealthy focus on a one-dimensional definition of success. We do that, I believe, by emphasizing the variety of ways in which success can be defined (beyond the common societal default to wealth and status), including the contribution that one makes to the betterment of the wider community.
We take other steps as well towards discouraging this culture of perfectionism and excessive competition, both of which lead to the corrosive 'envy' described in the report. So, for example, we do not publicize class rank among our Upper School students. We do provide this information to colleges if they require it, but we don't share the rankings with anyone else. As a result, students aren't implicitly pitted against each other in the way they are at many schools. This may seem like a small matter, but it contributes to the healthy understanding among our students that their achievement does not have to come at the expense of others, but rather that success of all kinds can best be seen as a win-win situation that most often emerges as a result of enthusiastic cooperation rather than cut-throat competition.
Ultimately, the consistent emphasis in our community on treating others with kindness, respect, and dignity makes our students more likely to treat themselves in that same way, which helps to dull the pernicious tendencies among affluent high-achievers that this report describes. That's not to say that we have completely eliminated all aspects of this phenomenon, but I truly believe that our students are less prone to this kind of unhealthy dynamic because of the unique qualities of the environment at Friends.
My thoughts on this report, as I responded to this parent, are that, like the researchers, I am not terribly surprised to see a correlation between high affluence and achievement and self-harm and other symptoms of distress. It is the dark side of a culture that expects/demands excellence and accomplishment from children. In my mind, this phenomenon has been sharpened by the dawning realization that the rising generation may well be the first in our country's history to have lower levels of material wealth than their parents. This fear of a coming scarcity is what causes some parents to do everything possible to try to ensure that their children will remain upwardly mobile. The manifestations of this anxiety (expecting/accepting only A's, intolerance for the "bumps in the road" that we all know are an inevitable and valuable part of the coming of age process, etc.) can certainly be damaging for the children on the receiving end of it.
I will say that one of the things I love about Friends is that our students routinely report that there is a feeling of support and mutual uplift among their peers that runs contrary to the stereotypical high-pressure, win-at-all-costs environment in many other academically strong independent and public schools. Being a Quaker school unquestionably takes a considerable amount of the edge off the societal/parental pressure on children from high-achieving families to replicate or surpass the material success of the previous generation. The young women's 'perfectionism' described in this report is often a function of the belief - unwittingly instilled by parents - that any lack of perfection will prevent students from access to the 'right college,' the 'right profession,' and other aspects of the golden ring they perceive their children to be in competition for. The nature of our community also tends to broaden families' conceptions far beyond what - in my mind - is an unhealthy focus on a one-dimensional definition of success. We do that, I believe, by emphasizing the variety of ways in which success can be defined (beyond the common societal default to wealth and status), including the contribution that one makes to the betterment of the wider community.
We take other steps as well towards discouraging this culture of perfectionism and excessive competition, both of which lead to the corrosive 'envy' described in the report. So, for example, we do not publicize class rank among our Upper School students. We do provide this information to colleges if they require it, but we don't share the rankings with anyone else. As a result, students aren't implicitly pitted against each other in the way they are at many schools. This may seem like a small matter, but it contributes to the healthy understanding among our students that their achievement does not have to come at the expense of others, but rather that success of all kinds can best be seen as a win-win situation that most often emerges as a result of enthusiastic cooperation rather than cut-throat competition.
Ultimately, the consistent emphasis in our community on treating others with kindness, respect, and dignity makes our students more likely to treat themselves in that same way, which helps to dull the pernicious tendencies among affluent high-achievers that this report describes. That's not to say that we have completely eliminated all aspects of this phenomenon, but I truly believe that our students are less prone to this kind of unhealthy dynamic because of the unique qualities of the environment at Friends.
